Wing Commander

by

Celebrating its 20th anniversary, the deviants of Welcome 2 Show; The Clintoris, The Guch, and The Devoslack sit down to watch Wing Commander!

Wing Commander was a victim of trying to jump on the new hotness that was movie adaptations of popular video games. After the success(?) of Super Mario Bros., Street Fighter, and Mortal Kombat, somebody somewhere decided that Hollywood needed to experience the thrill of space combat with Wing Commander.

Of course, this movie would go down in a burning furball of glory.

Awesome special effects inspired by the greats of sci-fi? Negative.

Historical accuracy to the source material? Negative.

Gripping acting to at least keep you in the space? Double negative.

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Amazon: https://amzn.to/2VWl3VI

Deviant Casting Director

  • The acting is atrocious!
  • Was Freddie Prinze trying for an accent?
  • Panaka from guard from Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace is in it! And he’s a Brit!
  • Mark Hamill the voice of Merlin? Mark was also a voice on the Wing Commander Academy animated show

Deviant Script Doctor

  • The space station was in an asteroid, pretty cool, have we seen that before?
  • Zulu time? Wtf is that?
  • They do this thing that Star Wars n Star Trek to a lesser degree always seemed to avoid: somehow they’re more technologically advanced (space travel, simulated gravity, etc), yet much of their tech is inferior to ours (computer screens, floppy discs, etc)
  • What good is a self-destruct if it malfunctions?!
  • The one-liners are terrible. “Buy one get one free”?
  • “He really is a good guy once you get to know him.” Is that a popular phrase?
  • The Kilrathi were garbage.

It’s Just so Ridiculous!

  • The effects for the fighters were sooooo bad.
  • Devereuax looked like a zombie, and Blair starts making out with her!?

The Kim Coppola Award

Awarded to the Worst Actor of the Film
Matt Lillard.

However, since all of the acting was atrocious in this movie, we decided to flip the script and honor the “best” actor of this film, that being Tchéky Karyo.

Deviantly Repeatable Quotes

When he got thru the quasar, his expression was so terrible lol like a poor man’s version of Keanus Ted.

Deviant Remake

Please god no.

Deviant-Worthiness

Garbage, don’t bother.

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Show Quotes

“This movie is like watching every single CD-Rom cutscene from Wing Commander.” – Devo


“This isn’t the worst video game movie out there.” – The Guch
“What do you think is worse?” – The Clintoris

“House of the Dead.” – The Guch and Devo simultaneously


“I would rather watch Double Dragon than this movie.” – The Guch


“I’ve actually watched She’s All That a lot, and I’m not afraid to say that because… I’m a man.” – The Guch


“You saw this in the theater!? Jesus christ!” – The Clintoris


“If you’re Freddie Prinze, do you leave Devereaux there or would you go back?” – The Clintoris

“You know what, Earth had its time…” – Devo


“Do you think the Kilrathi shave down there?” – Devo


“The mouth movement you get when you’re watching the show at Chuck E. Cheese 1,000 times better than what was happening in this movie with the Kilrathi.” – Devo


“He’s trying to break the ice, he’s trying to incorporate himself with the rest of the crew and what does he do? He brings that sweet sweet bottle of Johnny Walker Black.” – Devo


“If you were to offer me a pizza and a 12 pack, I’d totally re-watch this movie.” – Devo

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Disclaimer The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers and are not necessarily representative of the views, thoughts, and opinions held by The Social Deviants.