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In celebration of the release of the remake, we break the barrier and dig our toes into the sour ground of the original Pet Semetary.
We laughed, we groaned, we kissed 2 hours goodbye. Bury your dead and hope they don’t come back so you can avoid this film!
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Deviant Casting Director
- Fred Gwynne was perfect as Jud
Deviant Script Doctor
- WENDIGO! SHOW ME, THE FUCKING WENDIGO!
- Apparently, the visions that Louis and Ellie have are hints that they possess the Shining
- Is digging up a body in broad daylight the best idea?
It’s Just so Ridiculous!
- Gage was a DJ in the movie Tropic Thunder!?
- Do you think kids playing in horror movies fucks them up?
- How far WAS the Micmac burial ground?
- It’s not the actual Pet Semetary that’s the evil part, it’s the Micmac burial grounds, and it looked like Jud and Louis had to travel FAR to get there.
- Stephen King Failure – The truck that kills Gage was NOT featured in another Stephen King movie: Maximum Overdrive.
- Mom: “He probably went out for a hamburger or a chicken dinner dear. You know how men are when they’re alone!”
The Kim Coppola Award
Awarded to the Finest Worst Actor of the Film
- The Guch: Dale Midkiff as Louis Creed
- Devo: Dale Midkiff as Louis Creed
- God awful acting
- Pussy-fish-like handshake
- The Clintoris: Dale Midkiff as Louis Creed
Winner: Dale Midkiff as Louis Creed
Deviantly Repeatable Quotes
Jud: “Christ on his throne, no!”
Ellie: “It got away from him that dumb shit!”
Devo: “Shout out to (formerly) MicMac goalie sticks! Some of the finest sticks I ever used!”
Clint: “Going back to Lucho’s orchestral magnificence…”
Lucho: “And there’s none in this film!”
Lucho: “I thought, she was gonna be hot again then they showed her face and her eye was looking kinda puss-y. When they didn’t show her puss-y face I was like damn she looked good! Just wash her up, give her a Phantom of the Opera mask and she’s good!”
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